I am a story

​This life, no one has it truly figured out. Some try to make sense of it but the more they do the more they lose themselves. Some spend it seeking the meaning of it or some kind of purpose. For me I only see it as a story. And all that happens is part of a greater teaching that we must first learn. I have been a student of life my entire life and every time it disciplines me I seem to find myself failing at other things. But I have learned that all we can do is do our best even when the worst towers before us. Just know that we live in a time that we may be summoned or compelled to rise in ways we didn’t anticipate, and maybe even become someone that was never in our wildest of dreams. None of us is perfect, but we must learn to be willing to do our best because this life we have is worthy of our best.  We must trust our instincts as we fight our daily fights  because we have to for the breaths of our journey to continue to be alive. Some we will win, some we wont, but in the end of each day we stand strong  with belief that today’s sacrifices have been worth it, that our instincts have not let us astray and our spirit did not abandon us, and that our best have been good enough for our story.  

The beginning of my story starts from the depths of my heart at the highest point of my spirit. For those whom I have hurt, I ask forgiveness. For those whom I could have helped more, I ask for understanding. For those I’m not in your lives, I tried. For those who betrayed or hurt me, my tears and pain that i had burried the sun dug it out of my forgiveness and took it to the sky. The same sky that holds the storm and judgement to our days.

For all the ways I could have served the world better, I ask for strength to be better this coming months and year. May you all be inscribed in the book of life. May we all be better this coming months and year than the last.

A sad piece of my book

​Be there for others but never leave yourself behind.  

My entire life the biggest mistake I’ve ever done is not worrying about myself, that was a gift from my warrior lineage for I was raised to see the bigger picture. The heaven ahead of me. All that I have ever done and doing is all leading to that place. The journey that brought me here was never about me. I came here because I had to save someone deer to me that I couldn’t sit and watch my mother grief of a loss that I could sacrifice mine to save. 

Over time the spirit of similar events summon me to change their fate, and as an Orkoiyot turning my back unto others who need me was not in any breath I take. I was raised never to have much but to help much. But only if they let me for souls of my kind do not belong in the same room with rejection, fear and hate. I was created to give my all for a day will come that i will leave all. 

Sometimes I look at how successful others have become and I’m still held down by monk life. I think I feel this way because of my losses have become many especially coming from those I once held close to my heart. 

I hope the sport of my ancestors  will forgive me for giving up what I was fighting for so I could continue with my journey and be successful for if I meet the dream only then I can descend down to help others again. 

You see, I have never existed for myself. I have never been selfish and this strange desire to do much for myself is leaving me with a bleeding heart. I’m do this because I want to feel my true smile for I’ve reached a point in life where nothing moves me anymore and that’s is a sign that I’m lost. I must pick myself up first before I pick others up.

It is time we end the killing of one another if we want a better and peaceful future

​My father was a policeman in Kenya long time ago. We talk about life and the stuff going on here in US, of how some cops are very intense. And he said Being a police officer you have to be brave not fearful.  You have to remember that uniform makes you very powerful, but it is your responsibility to make people not fear you by how you approach, speak and treat them. 

For when you’re afraid and you have a gun, your fear will use it and you will hurt more than one person but everyone who ever knew him or her and also the rob the world a soul that was light to them or someone. 

He has never opened to me why he quit his job as a policeman till today. He said one day I was in a night patrol shift and happen to come across a guy who was running like he has stolen something at that hour of the night. It is not custom to see runners at time of the night running and he didn’t look like a runner.  So he knew something was going on, from a distance deep in the neck of the darkness of the night someone was shouting “MWIZI MWIZI” which means thief thief.  (He had a chicken that he just stole). 

My father had two choices, point his gun and tell him to stop and if he didn’t he’ll have to judge the book by its cover and shoot him down, or find another way. So he pointed his gun at the guy and told him to stop but the guy kept on running and since it was dark fear in my father’s heart caused the guy to appear to be very big. But conscience side of my father stilled him and said it’s not worthy of taking another person life. So he pointed his gun up unto the sky and fired. The guy fell down and surrendered. 

My father asked him why did he steal the chicken he said his child was sick and he didn’t have a job. So my dad gave him the little money he had and together they chased the chicken together and caught it and gave it back to the owner who was already there puffing hard from all the chasing, but the owner  decided to just give the guy the chicken to sell it to help his family. 

My father said when the guy fell on the ground it opened his eyes. That we are not in this life to kill or hurt one another. We are here to do our job and make the world a better place by giving compassion a chance to show us what life can be if we helped each other. He was barely my age now and he said to him to live with shame of not having a job was better than to live his entire life caged by guilt and ghosts of lives he took. 

We shouldn’t allow ourselves to end life of someone because of the fear we have. We have it because we manifested with time and cultivated  it with hate.
That day he quit his job, because of the fear he felt in his heart  almost used a weapon to end a life that someone else depends on. That day because of just a chicken someone would have lost his life. 

That day forever changed the course of the rest of his destiny. That day my dad would have stopped being my dad. From this we learn don’t do a job that makes you a murderer. Don’t do a job that you claim people in it threaten your life. He’s grateful I didn’t join the force like all men from his side of family. I am too. 

I cried and told him I’m sorry for the time he was not in my life. Now I understand and love him more for that.  Best thing he said was “We are all human and we must value that like our life depends on it, we have to always remember when we wear our masks and uniforms sometimes it turns us into a very dangerous animals that kills great warriors who are the soul of a village that they are meant to go back to when the sun sets” 
There’s always a way to catch what you seek without killing them. Don’t just sit and look away, for ignoring makes it a heritage.

When you let go you must move on

​When I knew I only was a few breaths away, all I could do was to make peace by cleaning every room in my mind that those I’ve ever cared for lived in. 

I burned all the books that gave me memories of them, the photos of them I gave them not a shred of grace. For I was seeking to forgive myself and to forgive, one is demanded by the the great spirit to let go. 

Once every room was clean and all I could hear was only the bounce of my echo. I finally became whole and free to be one with the path of my purpose.  For now till the end of these breaths I’ll live passion not grudge. I’ll be of peace and not .

I’ll be full of joy and life. What you took from me will become a burden to you. Breaking me is part of life teaching me about people like you. I trust less now but that makes me the luckiest for I’ll lose less than when trusting a lot.

Ancient Spiral

Check out this beauty at my awesome host backyard  :)

The Ancient Spirals – What do they mean? They mean many things but in the end they connect to one meaning.
In my tribe it was used to give guidance to warriors, it reminded us of the journey that life is and only spirit can align with it and not emotions.


The Spiral Petroglyph is found in every ancient culture throughout the world.

Like I did when I was young. A wise person will wonder How is it that all of these ancient cultures craved into stone the exact same symbol in a time where there was no way to communicate with each other? There were no telephones, no TV and no mode of transport that would enable them to visit each other.

I believe that they all looked to the stars and saw the same spirals occurring in the night sky. This phenomenon has now been seen by millions of people around the globe in the past few years.


The Spiral, which is the oldest symbol known to be used in spiritual practices, reflects the universal pattern of growth and evolution. The spiral represents the goddess, the womb, fertility and life force energy. Reflected in the natural world, the Spiral is found in human physiology, plants, minerals, animals, energy patterns, weather, growth and death. The Spiral is a sacred symbol that reminds us of our evolving journey in life. When used as a personal talisman, the Spiral helps consciousness to accept the turnings and changes of life as it evolves. 

The acceptance of change is one of the greatest freedoms a human can experience, putting consciousness in the present moment where the power of creation is condensed. On a larger scale, using this symbol assures all beings are reminded of their inward and outward evolution, a balanced and centred state of mind. On water, it carries the power to flow and change.

The magic always happens 

​In my short life, I’ve learned that as an artist you can be sure of one thing: when you think it’s over, that’s when the magic happens. That’s when your well-honed tools take the lead, and you start to get really good at your craft. There is a certain point where you just have to let go of everything you know so that your body can start to go on auto-pilot and lead WITH your mind. That’s where your years of practice, years of classes, years of jobs and jobs and more jobs start to guide YOU with a ferocity so sharp that everything begins to come together in a beautiful symphony, and all you can do is bask in your own private wonderland and wonder how you got so lucky. And the work begins…Again?!!! Yes, again. The beauty of art is that you get to practice it every day.The really cool thing about this is that you don’t have to be “an artist” to stay nestled in this mindset. If you treat your day as a work of art, I promise you’ll be happier and more content at the end of every day. Trust me.