May you grow to find the truth.



​All that I would have ever been is etched in my heart. Sometimes I wonder how one can be alive and not seem like it. People are seeking to be happy yet I here feel I’ll be selfish to be without you.

With so much pain I have to let you go now because here is the only place I’ve lived where love can do more damage than hate. I want you to know I am alive and well and not dead as they tell you I am. They’ll give another father and another story, but when you get a chance to read this someday know that I am your father and root of your story. This is one of the hardest thing I’ve ever written because my heart has sunk that people can be cruel to others that they rip your soul out. I’ve become numb to love because of fear to lose those I love again. If I could relive a day. If I could turn back time and change things. If I could have you again. I’d spend every breath of it with you. 
Should this be the last things that I say, I want you to know I never stopped loving you. I’ve never asked anyone for forgiveness but son if you can find it in your heart forgive me for not fighting hard enough, forgive me for not being there for you. My efforts were only a teardrop in an ocean of fire. My heart will burn with passion of a thousand suns yearning to meet you again.
 People on my state of life have lost their mind because they couldn’t handle what’s being done to them, but I cling on the last bit of hope and vision that I will see you in the future or in afterlife.  Know that in your father and his fathers father’s paper do not define us nor are not made of it. These papers I’m going to sign is only footprints on the beach and the wave of our love will make them wash away. I will love every child in your honor but my love for will forever be in my heart. 

I love forever. 

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