A sad piece of my book

​Be there for others but never leave yourself behind.  

My entire life the biggest mistake I’ve ever done is not worrying about myself, that was a gift from my warrior lineage for I was raised to see the bigger picture. The heaven ahead of me. All that I have ever done and doing is all leading to that place. The journey that brought me here was never about me. I came here because I had to save someone deer to me that I couldn’t sit and watch my mother grief of a loss that I could sacrifice mine to save. 

Over time the spirit of similar events summon me to change their fate, and as an Orkoiyot turning my back unto others who need me was not in any breath I take. I was raised never to have much but to help much. But only if they let me for souls of my kind do not belong in the same room with rejection, fear and hate. I was created to give my all for a day will come that i will leave all. 

Sometimes I look at how successful others have become and I’m still held down by monk life. I think I feel this way because of my losses have become many especially coming from those I once held close to my heart. 

I hope the sport of my ancestors  will forgive me for giving up what I was fighting for so I could continue with my journey and be successful for if I meet the dream only then I can descend down to help others again. 

You see, I have never existed for myself. I have never been selfish and this strange desire to do much for myself is leaving me with a bleeding heart. I’m do this because I want to feel my true smile for I’ve reached a point in life where nothing moves me anymore and that’s is a sign that I’m lost. I must pick myself up first before I pick others up.


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